Five years ago, as I approached turning 50, I felt compelled to become more mindful of gratitude. I did not want to turn into someone self-focused about aging or one who was cynical or complaining.

So, I set my heart with a posture of gratitude—even as my creaking back would snap, crackle, pop more and more as I got out of bed each morning. Age is going to happen–how you approach it matters.

I am 55 now. Each year I chose a “word” for my theme of the year instead of the hum drum usual “do better” list that would undoubtedly be blown by the end of January. These New Year’s Resolutions over the past few years sum up the progression from the time I was 50 until now at 55:

50: Gratitude

51: Contentment

52: Joy

53: Questions for daily reflection: Have I prayed for someone today? Have I helped someone today? Have I encouraged someone today? Have I been kind to someone today?

54: Kindness

55: Be kind. Invest more in people. Get healthy (because there’s always those 15 pesky pounds!).

What I realized when reflecting on this list is: Attitude AND Actions should BOTH be present!

It is great to know to be thankful, but we should show that we are thankful. Act on it.

Begin each day thanking God for His mercies. Speak of His goodness throughout the day. Share about his wondrous deeds. Think on His goodness. Extend goodness and mercies to others.

Psalm 145: 1-6 I will extol you, my God and King, and bless your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever. Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable. One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts. On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate. They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds, and I will declare your greatness.

Adopt a mindset of daily knowing, thinking, and then doing things that show gratitude: “Today is the only day you get to live THIS day. This is the only July 11, 2024 ever! Make it count!”

I began to start each day with this same daily thought. It revolutionized my whole outlook.

The switch from mere introspection to one of action combines thinking about thankfulness with also showing thankfulness.

In the book, The Bronze Bow by Elizabeth George Speare, the main character, Daniel, is forgiven by Jesus at the end of the book. Daniel begins to rush after Jesus to thank him for healing his sister and for forgiving him, but instead, he turns to his enemy, a Roman, and invites him into his home.

Gratitude feeds hospitality.

Hospitality creates joy.

Joy spills over into action.

Share the joy. Pray for others. Encourage someone. Be kind.

Today is the day!

Live with: Gratitude + Contentment + Joy + Kindness + Investment + Encouragement—this day!

Live life daily with gratitude and beyond!

When my daughter lived in South Korea, she walked by a military base on the way to her job each morning. She told me about seeing a group of young men out front one day playing Rock, Paper, Scissors and then seeing one guy just immediately pick up a broom and start sweeping. No argument. No refutation. Just sweeping. The die had been cast. The game had spoken. The decision had been made.

This image has stuck with me because, as a teacher, conflict is an ever-present thing to work through with students. “Whose turn is it to take the passes back to the office?” Rock, Paper, Scissors. “Whose turn is it to help with dismissal?” Rock, Paper, Scissors. If there is not a procedure in place for a certain task, Rock, Paper, Scissors. Done.

It’s such a simple thing. But so useful. It paves the way to help work out the conflict—simply.

Conflict is a killer of the soul and a destroyer of the mission. Or at least it gives bad vibes about whose turn it is to play with the jump rope or take a found lunch box back to the office.

Recently I read Proverbs 18:18 (ESV) which states, “The lot puts an end to quarrels
and decides between powerful contenders.”

That is what Rock, Paper, Scissors is—the lot. It is a method of determining the outcome of a decision in a fixed way that helps you get back to the business at hand. It does not derail you but helps you get back on track. It’s keep on keepin’ on–at its best!

As a teacher, I love preventative measures to handle conflict–to think about how to react even before you are in a situation.

Each year during the first week of school, I lead my students in an “Overlooking Minor Offenses” exercise to help pinpoint some of these potential conflict issues and how to handle them.

I am more convinced than ever that most conflict begins by slights or perceived slights. Understanding this and learning how to recognize these moments can be so helpful in letting the little things go.

We explore verses in the Bible about peacemaking and refer to some quotes from Ken Sande’s book, The Peacemaker. We talk through possible scenarios and distinguish between major and minor offenses.

Another way of low-conflict decision making is the name jar—the jar that has sticks with all the students’ names written on them.  This is a great way to help “choose” who does what next.

Many times, I have referred to “the lot” when using the “pulling sticks” method of decision making– “The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.” (Proverbs 16:33)

Students feel so hopeful with raised hands and bright eyes, and then, when they see my hand moving toward the jar, they seem hopeless with dejected faces and downcast eyes. This used to confuse me, but then I realized it is their seeing the finality of “the jar has spoken” mentality. Their happy faces and pleases (or pleas) will get them nowhere. (And, I love it because it gets me off the hook from having to choose. Ha!)

One year when I only had four boys in my class, I was using the “pulling sticks” method to make groups. The boys were all begging to be in one group (of course!) to which I was reticent to acquiesce. Low and behold, when I pulled the names for the groups, all four boys made it into the same group. I had quoted the lot verse so often that one student exclaimed, “It’s God’s will!” So, yes, I Iet them all be together . . . that time.

So remember, whenever you need a sure-fire way of deciding or solving a stalemate quickly with minimal conflict, Rock, Paper, Scissors to the rescue!